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  • Writer's pictureKate

Easy Denial

It is easy to be in denial about this whole cancer thing when you look in the mirror and see yourself as if nothing has changed.

Enjoying a good hair day next to a beautiful bouquet of flowers my co-workers sent me.

The physical bruises are healing and the scars are fading from all the tests and procedures. The first round of chemo feels like a distant memory and even that disgusting metallic taste has faded. I have been feeling physically well the past several days, and Andy and I have been taking full advantage by getting out of the house and indulging my every whim. I could get used to this...except my hair starting coming out today. Tomorrow is day 13 post-chemo and I have read on many a blog that day 13 is the day shit gets real. I have been preparing myself for weeks now, but I just want to milk this denial a little longer. I have a sneaking suspicion chemo is going to get harder, and I am going to feel sicker, and once my hair is gone, my reflection in the mirror is going to scream CANCER!

Tonight I took a bath and enjoyed washing my hair for what I hope is not the last time. I have a wig and some hats stashed away in a drawer, but I'm not ready to resort to them just yet. I will need to make a decision about shaving my head soon, but not today.

I am going to bed hopeful my hair will still be there, at least some of it, when I wake tomorrow.


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